Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Update

I have a few quiet moments to myself right now so I figured I would catch everybody up. Thank you all for your prayers for me recently. My last post was the beginning of this month when I was still medicine-deprived. I had my scan done on the 6th and waited about an hour after it was done to her the results. Praise God they were good results!!! Everything looked good. Unfortunately, the wonderful people (typed with sarcasm) over at Compunet where I had my bloodwork taken had not even processed my blood...it was still "sitting on their shelf," as the nuclear medicine doctor (Dr. Jacobson) explained it to me. He on the other hand, was extremely thoughtful and told me that he would even call me over the weekend if the results of the bloodwork came in. Per my endocrinologist's request, I was to stay off my medicine and stay on the no-sodium diet until those results were in. So, leaving the hospital, I had to kick myself in the rear a bit. Here I had just been given great news, but was focused on the disappointment of not getting on my Levothyroxine. I was so discouraged at that point in time due to the condition of my body. I know full-well what the thyroid does for the human body now! I cannot even describe the exhaustion. It got worse the longer I was off the medicine and I believe I was starting to go into a depression from it as well.

So, the scan was on a Thursday and that Saturday, on the way to a wedding, I got a call from Dr. Jacobson saying I could resume taking my medicine and normal eating. I was thrilled! I knew it would take time for it to build back into my system, but it was that I was at the starting point that I was so happy about. And now, almost a month later, I'm back. Not only can I finish washing my hair in the shower without needing to give my arms a rest, I started actually working out at the gym again this week. It has been wonderful. I am so thankful for God's healing in my body and for my eensy-weensy little blue pill that I can take once again. Dr. Koroscil (my endo doc) said my bloodwork level was 4.6. They want it to be 0, but considering it was at 14.9 last year, before my treatment, it is definitely better! I have to call and make an appt. for the spring, where I'm sure they will do more bloodwork and another ultrasound.

Once again, thank you for your prayers. I look back at some pictures from July and I looked pretty much how I felt. I know it was the Lord's working that got me through it and I just wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate your lifting me up.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Wings Like Eagles

Isaiah 40:27-31

"Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God"? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Wow! How I love and cling to these verses! I cannot begin to express what they personally mean to me. Many of you know that I have been off of my levothyroxine for over a month now. With no thyroid and no little "miracle" pill performing the job of a thyroid, the month of July proved to be a very difficult one for me. Why am I off? I was told last year after my body scan that I would indeed be scheduled for another one the following year. So, here we are. I wish I could tell you, medically speaking, why I had to be off of it for so long and why I had to do the diet again, and tomorrow, the radio-active idodine pill (thankfully, a very low dose). But I do know it all leads up to this scan of mine scheduled for Thursday morning at 7am. Praise God, I am not anticipating any sort of negative news, as I was given very positive news from my endocrinolgist back in May and then again, by my surgeon a few days ago. Must just be a normal, post-cancer, procedure I have to redo. Unfortunetly, as mentioned above, I have been wiped out. The longer my body is without my medicine, the harder my days are becoming. The word "low" is not sufficient anymore. I feel like I am on empty, as far as energy goes. I have been irratable, snippy, and lethargic and quite frankly, I'm just tired of feeling tired. I have done my best to try and not complain, but when people ask, I am honest. I know this struggle is nothing compared to what countless others are going through. And yet, for me, it is real and it has been hard, especially with three young kiddos to care for. I know they and my husband will be excited for the "real me" to emerge once my levels are back to normal.

Pastor preached from Psalm 9 last Sunday and challenged us at the end to fill in the blank as part of our prayer. The key was to praise the Lord for His work in our life in the past and to then praise Him for what he will continue to do in the future. During that time of silent reflection and prayer, my mind immediately went to my salvation, my family, and my health.

I praise You because of your unfailing love to me, shown by your obedience to a horrific death on a cross, for the ulimate payment of my sin...I will proclaim You as my Saviour to those whom you put in my path during my life.

I praise You because you blessed me with a rich heritage and allowed me to grow up in a family who loved and served You...I will trust in You as you guide me in the challenges of parenthood, seeking Your face, as I care for the blessings in my life named Jacob, Lydia, and Claire.

I praise You, for you have been my source of strength and comfort in my time of need during my journey through cancer. You encouraged me by providing an incredible husband, loving family, and supportive friends. I praise you Lord for seeing the big picture...I will continue to praise You as you hold me up right now. I praise you, Lord, for the promise of never leaving me. I praise you, Lord, that you never grow tired or weary and that you will renew my strength once again!

**I started this post last night and am finishing it up today. Went to the hospital this morning and recieved my oral dose. I am radioactive again...but this time to a much less degree. I think the lady told me last year I had 148mg and today a mere 2mg (so it will show up on the scan). Another praise is that my dear friend, Beth, offered to take the kids for me all day so that I can just rest and take it easy. What a blessing! I am scheduled for my scan on Thursday morning still. Once that is done, I just wait for a call from the Dr. to tell me when I can start back on my meds. I think I will go with her advice and call them the very next day. I do need to wait to hear from them first just in case I were to need any more treatment (which I am not anticipating, as mentioned above). I just know I am going to have a celebratory meal when I get the thumbs up...this no salt diet is the pits. But not going to go crazy...gotta fit into that bridesmaid dress come November 14th!!!

I know this is a lengthy post. And kind of boring to the eye with no pictures. But I just have one more thought to write down. This thought occured to me last year as well. In the Scripture above, I just love the mental picture of an eagle soaring. God could have chosen to use any bird...a sparrow, a blue bird, a crow. But He chose an eagle. I'm no expert on eagles by any means, but I remember when we went to the zoo a few years back going to see the eagles in the observatory. Of course, they were just perched on their branches at the time, but we got pictures of my kids holding out their arms in perspective to the wing span of an eagle (hey maybe I do have some pics to add to this). (The yellow is a bald eagle's wing span...sorry it's not all there).When I imagine this magnificent bird flying, it is quite different from that of the birds around here I am used to. Most of the birds I watch fly pump their little wings vigourously and I imagine it is quite a workout. Yet, that is the opposite of what Isaiah tell us. "They will soar on wings like eagles." Seems to me that little effort is required to get an eagle airborne and once it is, I imagine them soaring for great distances. That is why 3 Sundays ago, in the midst of my struggle to have energy for simple daily functioning, I had to smile and praise my God, when myself and a congregation full of people, whom I'm sure have had or are having their own struggles, sang aloud these words, written by Chris Tomlin, but that come directly out of the Word of God.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God The everlasting God

You do not faint You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God The everlasting God

You do not faint You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak You comfort those in need

You lift us up on wings like eagles