Monday, July 28, 2008

Green(e) play date

The first week of July (before G-ma & G-pa arrived), I ventured out to the Greene with the kids. Being only a mile from our house to the Stroop entrance is nice, as we often walk/ride bikes there as a family. However, there was no walking there that day as my energy levels were starting to drop at this point. We met Beth and her 3 boys and ended up having a marvelous time together, as always. There was a lady there face painting. After the kids enjoyed the fountains for a while, the older of the 6 kids had fun getting there faces done up.My LydiaWho knew a water drain was so exciting?Claire and Travis...good buddies!Jake & Lydia are invloved in the summer reading program at the library. Jake wanted to take a book along since he has been so excited about reaching 30 hours. He and Tine are taking a break and I thought this was a sweet photo. Jake and Tine...our firstborns! Jake getting his face painted!Lydia's turn (actually, she went first).The finished product...Jake as the Incredible Hulk!Flowery LydiaBest friends (even though Jake won't admit it). The Hulk, Tine the Tiger, and my Flower girl

When we got home, Jake decided he wanted to draw a picture of The Incredible Hulk (or The Hork as the wrote it).

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Catch up time - June

Ok...I promised pictures, so here they come! I hope to stay more current with my blog, but here are a few memories caught on the camera over the summer. Thank you, God for this blessing of being able to capture a moment in time. Here are a couple of those moments.

Grandma and Grandpa Ernst arrived back in the States in early June. There was much excitement for their homecoming on the part of the grandkids and we were also looking forward to them meeting Claire for the first time. We drove to Indy to see them and to loan them our car until they found one of their own. While on the subject of Grandma and Grandpa, let me say what a blessing they have been to us. They came the first week of July to return our car and stayed the entire week to help us out and hang out with the kids. I was off my medicine at that point in time, so I really appreciated the rests I was able to get in while they were here. And Jake and Lydia were loving the attention! Claire took this week to get to know them better. Then, during my isolation period, they, along with the help of the Billingtons and the Ernsts, took care of J & L. What a HUGE blessing to know my kiddos were in good hands and being loved on!
The kids at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We got to spend the night there and this was right before bed...hence the reason for Claire in her jammies.

Playing at Uncle Rich and Aunt Araceli's house.

Jake was finishing out his T-ball season in June, so I signed up Lydia for swim classes without him. The first 4 classes, she was to have an adult in the water. I was not supposed to get in the water yet after my surgery and Dan was at Jake's game, so during these sessions, my sister willingly got in the pool with Lid. I kept Claire with me since Dan helped coach the games, so I had the fun task of entertaining her (she really wanted in, too). Amazing how far a drinking cup will go with a toddler (with water in it, of course).

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Freedom!

While I cannot watch the movie Braveheart ( I cannot stomach war movies too well, but can handle and am fascinated by real, live medical shows...strange, I know), I do love that classic line in the movie. And while of course, the context is different, I have a feeling I will want to shout "FREEDOM" tomorrow when I get to go home! Being at this lakehouse has been a wonderful, wonderful blessing and answer to prayer, however, I am excited to go back home. The plan is for Dan to pick me up sometime tomorrow evening. I have missed my family. God has allowed me to get some much needed rest here. I am thinking I will probablly still need to find some help next week though. While I was hoping the medicine I am now taking (day 2) would just miraculously give me all my strength back, I have been informed that it will take a couple weeks to build back into my system and even a couple months of a "tweaking" process to get the levels right. But I will take each day at a time and before I know it, I will be back to normal, with the Lord's help. And many have offered help so I shouldn't have a hard time finding it. I want to be with my kiddos though, so I am praying that I can get some people who can come to my house just to assist me...maybe even in the afternoon so I can get a rest in. We shall see.

My brain has been feeling like it just has this mental fog over it so I will do my best to remember what has filled my days. Be prepared for some excitement-filled reading (*scarcasm noted). All day Monday I felt sick to my stomach. I did my best to keep it together because I did not want to toss up the radio active iodine capsules I'd taken around 11am that morning. I'd gone to bed pretty early but could not go to sleep. Finally, at midnight I went to the kitchen to find a bowl just in case I couldn't make it to the bathroom. On the return from the kitchen, with bowl in hand, I ran to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time. I prayed that the 12 plus hours the RAI capsules had been in my body was long enough for my body to absorb. I had a feeling it was, as the glands around my neck and behind my ears were sore already. I felt better afterwards and went back to my room with a box of Shredded Wheat and layed there in the dark, nibbling away like a little mouse. I wanted to have something in my stomach to fight off the sick feeling so I could get some sleep. It worked. Pretty much the rest of the week, I felt pretty sick to my stomach until today, where I'd say I feel about 75% better, nausea-wise. Thankfully, Monday was the only day I actually lost my cookies. I called the hospital in the morning and Alma, the regular lady I talk to, was not there. I spoke with another lady and let her knew what had happened and to ask her if I could take some leftover Zofran pills I had from Claire (pills I had before I got started on the Zofran pump) and she put me on hold. I only assumed she talked to the Dr. and she told me all was ok. So, I called Dan and asked if he could bring me my Zofran and he said he would. In the meantime, I hopped in the shower. Even taking a shower has been tiring for me, just the act of holding my arms up long enough to wash my hair. Anyhow, I go to shut off the water and I can't. "Surely I have enough in me to turn off this water," I think to myself. Well, no matter how I tried, that water was not turning off. Great, I have broken something in the house already. I call Dan. He had my Zofran already and was going to come soon, but came sooner than he was thinking. I asked if I should shut off the water to the whole house, but he said he would hurry. I felt like the water was running forever, but at least the drain was working properly. When Dan got here, he couldn't shut if off either, so he ran to the neighbors house to ask for a wrench. I think he got it mostly to stop, but it was more than a dribble, kind of like a light shower. He shut the water off to the whole house and called Bob (the owner). He took a while to call back and while we waited, we both took a snooze...me on the couch, and Dan in the lazy boy chair (we were well over 3 ft. away from each other). Before Bob called back, Dan left to go to the Lowe's in Xenia. He came back with a new handle and turned the water back on and was able get the water to stop running in the shower. Bob had called him back and scheduled for a plumber to come the next day. Before Dan left, we walked down to the lake just to check it out. It is not that far of a walk and not that big of a hill, but on the way back up it, I felt like I had metal legs and had to stop and take little breaks. It was pretty pathetic looking, I'm sure. Dan left and I think I read for a bit and went to bed shortly after. Wednesday, the plumber and his dad and son came to check out the problem. Basically, there was no problem. The house just doesn't get used often enough so everything was tight. He loosened it up and it has been fine. I was glad of that, that I had not really broken anything but a handle. That was pretty much the excitement for the day. I think I watched a movie that afternoon and took a rest. My sister was taking Thursday off to come stay with me, so she arrived sometime between 8 and 9 that night. We talked for a long time and went to bed around 11ish. That was the latest I have stayed up this week, but I enjoyed the company, albeit 3 ft. away. The next day at 11, we made it a big deal and touched each other. My stomach felt a little better that morning, so we decided to drive to the beach area of the lake. We stayed there maybe a couple hours total. Mostly, we sat and read and talked, but did get cooled off in the lake a couple times (I'd gotten permission from Alma). We positioned ourselves so we were plenty far away from the very few little kids who were there. And so far, there have been no reports of dead fish. =) We left around 2ish as I was starting to feel queasy from being in the sun, even with a way to cool off. We got back home and I realized I'd "spent" all my energy there. I spent the rest of the day just laying on the couch, talking and resting my eyes. My mom came for a quick visit that evening. When they both left, I went to bed. Friday, a realtor came and showed a lady and her son a quick 10 min. tour of the house (it is on the market). I stepped outside during this time since the lady's son was a young guy. A little later, my friend from church, Emily came and stole me out of the house for a while. That was a very nice distraction. My stomach was not the greatest, but better than the last couple days. She had wanted to treat me to Chinese food (since they said I could be off the low iodine diet), but I wasn't up for it, so we went to a place that served no-milk fruit smoothies and I was able to handle that. We talked for a good long while, then she took me to a pharmacy, and back to the house where we chatted some more. It was a very nice visit! When she left, I physically wanted to go to bed, but I knew my brain wouldn't let me so early, so I popped in a movie. I was very ready for bed when it ended. And that leaves me with today. My sister called me at 10am and said she and my mom and aunt were on there way. I was glad for this as the company makes the time pass a lot quicker. They stopped at a Tim Hortons and bought me an iced flavored coffee and a bagel. And I was able to eat it!!! My aunt went through this same cancer and treatment 3 years ago, so it was neat to be able to see her and talk with her about things, even though our experiences have not been exactly the same. I guess the nausea is not normal, but Alma had already told me this, as she had said to her knowledge, only one other patient had thrown up. My aunt and uncle (and their 4 kids) are from PA and I rarely get to see them, so I was so happy for the 3 of them coming to visit me even with a full schedule. They left in the early afternoon and I rested and read. Then I watched another movie and that comes to this moment right now. And I know this is far more than most wanted to know, but I have not done so hot at writing in my journal, so I figured this would make up for it. Now I am off to bed..

Next time I write, I will include pictures. I have been on Dan's laptop and I don't know how to access our pictures on here or if I even can. I don't have a camera here, but I can get up to date on recent fun things that have gone on in the weeks prior.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Cancer Treatment and Bumblebees

Well, here I am lying down on a couch in somebody else's lakehouse in Jamestown. What a blessing and answer to prayer to be able to stay here. The word for the day...Quiet. I am so used to the hustle and bustle sound of being a mother of 3 and a wife of 1 (I would not do well with being a Morman) that I sometimes forget what quiet sounds like. I tried to fill the quiet with an attempt to watch a movie, but failed at figuring out how to work the tv/dvd player here and at trying to play it in Dan's laptop. Then, it dawned on me that the quiet is not so bad. My stomach has been off for a few days now and I don't think the radioactive iodine treatment that I took this morning at the hospital has helped, so I was hesitant to even read. Even my couple phone calls I recieved or made were short and sweet in nature, as the very easy action of talking (which I normally love to do) made me nauseated. The Lord, however, blessed my reading time and eased my stomach a bit. I'd gone to the library a couple days ago to get some "maybe" books...maybe I'd read them, maybe I'd not, in anticipation of actual chances to get to read. I got a genre of different books - Christian fiction and non fiction, a couple devotionals, and even The Davinci Code. Never read it when it was all hyped up, but was curious about it. That one may end up being a true maybe. Lord knows I'm not a fast reader and that is one big book. Anyhow, I decided to start with one of the devotional books I'd checked out. It is entitled OverJoyed (Devotions to Tickle Your Fancy And Strengthen Your Faith). It is written by a group of women who, some of, are still on the Women Of Faith tour (this particular book was written in 1999, I believe). Anyhow, I have enjoyed these little blurbs and have been encouraged by two in particular. Last night, I couldn't sleep very well. Probably a combination of an upset stomach, nerves, and thinking/praying for my kids who are not with me...Jake and Lydia are in Indy with Grandma and Grandpa Ernst and their cousins and Claire is under the care of my wonderful friend, Beth, until Tuesday afternoon when Daddy can pick her up (she will also stay there during the days until I am done with this isolation thing). Anyhow, back to my story...I couldn't sleep and I couldn't shut off my brain. I've been wrestling God with something and offering him my excuses. I must have sounded like Moses to him. My ears and eyes perked up at a couple things I read...one was a description of bumblebees and how scientifically, they are not built to fly. Their big bodies and little, shallow wings should make it impossible for the bumblebee to fly. But does this stop the bumblebee? NO. "The bumblebee doesn't know it can't fly. So, the bumblebee flies around doing what God chose for it to do, pollinating plants. It does so without considering it's limitations" (Thelma Wells). Thelma then goes on to remind us how we are each uniquely made by our Creator and He has equipped each of us with our own special gifts and talents. Then just a few pages later, I'm reading a devotional that Barbara Johnson penned. In it, she says, " We can't change these seven realities:
  • Things are always changing.
  • It rains on the just and the unjust.
  • We are aging by the minute.
  • The rules aren't fair.
  • You can't please all people all the time.
  • You can't heal another person's wounds.
  • God is good anyway.

Barbara went on to urge her readers (ME) to do something. So many times, I feel like I have to have it all together to really minister to another. I want to entertain guests in my home, but often let my disorginization or what I feel is lack of space get in the way. I want to meet another's emotional need but struggle with knowing the right thing to say. These are just a couple examples of some of my past, lame excuses. But her whole message was that it is a big lie to "think our cup has to be full before we can share with somebody else." That very sentence helped me in what I was talking with God about. I don't have to have all the answers or have my life be just perfect to minister in the area that I believe God has layed on my heart. I need to stop waiting. I need to give with what I have! God was tugging on my heart on this issue at my Wome's Bible Study 2 weeks ago and then also in a video that Mark and Jill (brother in law and sister in law) had shared with us last week. "For each minute you think you have nothing to give, you lose sixty seconds of giving. For every hour you feel sorry for yourself, you lose sixty minutes to comfort another. For every day you wait to get going in the ministry to which God has called you, you lose twenty-four hours to bless the world" (Babara Johnson) Maybe that will touch someone as it did me.

Thank you, God, for once again, being patient with me!