Holdin' Hands

Today, Jake and I made our way down to Malcolm's house. Malcolm is an 8 year old boy, whom we discovered a couple weeks ago, lives just 6 houses down from us! I think I was more excited than Jake that he has a play buddy so closeby. We've never had friends for the kids who lived on the same street in the 7 1/2 years we have had children (which I totally get...we never intended to stay on such a busy road once we had kids). We were on our way over to invite Malcolm to Vacation Bible School, which starts tomorrow (yeah, I know...procrastination). He wasn't home, so I told Jake we would swing back by on our way to church to try again and leave a note if they still were not home. As I was telling him this, I grabbed Jake's hand and led him back to the sidewalk. Usually, when we are out on the sidewalk, he is on his bike or racing me getting off the bus (not much of a race when Mom is not back to strength yet from a broken leg). I didn't say anything, just basked in the moment of holding my son's hand. I held back the urge to squeeze tight, because I didn't want him to let go if I drew attention to our hands. But my heart sure was squeezing tight. In the next minute, my mind raced from sweet, precious memories of the past to the unforeseen future with Jake. I remembered how teeny-tiny his newborn hands were, and then holding those sweet toddlers hands that wanted to explore, but then come right back to mama. Then it dawned on me, that compared to those seemingly endless toddler days when a mother's hands are so needed and wanted (I'm there with Claire), my son did not need me in that way so much anymore. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time I held his hand. And so, we continued, just the two of us down the street. Finally, I couldn't contain myself. I squeezed his hand and gently said, " I love you, Jake." He looked up at me, giggled, and told me he loved me, too. And I got my wish...he kept holding my hand. Granted, now he was swinging my arm as hard as he could and stretching our arms apart, but he was still holdin' on and that was all I wanted at that moment.

The handprints on the wall get higher and higher and then one day, they disappear.